A new weapon In the weather prediction arsenal

A new weapon In the weather prediction arsenal

While the National Weather Service will likely deny any knowledge of its latest, state-of-the-art forecasting tool, I’m going to give it to you straight. The latest arrow in a quiver that includes Doppler radar, hurricane hunter aircraft and an entire swarm of satellites is none other than yours truly. Me. I’m the secret weapon.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming a single bit of skill here. Nor am I even particularly pleased with the distinction, but the accuracy of forecasts built around my activities has been undeniably spot-on for the past several weeks. The algorithm is as simple as it gets: If John Lorson begins driving south there is a 100 percent chance of precipitation, whether it be in the form of torrential rain, driving sleet or blinding, sideways snow.

I’ve tested the system as I’ve traveled back and forth to Kentucky to visit our daughter Charlotte and her family for three of the past four weekends. The first trip was made solely for the purpose of delivering my wife, Kristin, to the kid’s place as a “safety net” for our grandson, James. Grandma needed to be in place in the event that Charlotte and Andrew were forced to head off to the hospital early for the arrival of grandchild number two. We rolled out under blue skies and arrived in the middle of the biggest snowstorm of the season.

Seven days later, the future newbie was still comfortably holed up in the womb and showing no signs of surrender. With the due date finally upon us and a commitment from Charlotte and her doctor that the stubborn little squatter was going to make his arrival one way or another over the course of the weekend, I started back down to Kentucky. That trip devolved into a white knuckle slide through 200 miles of freezing rain. Baby Max beat me to the finish line!

The following weekend, with no trip on the horizon, I was rewarded at home with sunshine, blue skies, and the special joy of dutifully raking the yard clean of an entire winter’s worth of dog deposits.

When we made plans to return south this past weekend for grandson number one’s birthday, the weather forecasting community immediately responded with a forecast for driving rain switching over to snow during the course of our journey. Conditions on the ground followed the script exactly. The budding trees of Kentucky bristled at my arrival.

I’ve put the weather service on notice that since I’ve no plans for travel for the next several weeks they can confidently tune their long range forecast accordingly. Expect clear skies and pleasant conditions for the duration. Get out there and enjoy. You can thank me later.

Kristin and John would love to hear from you. Write: Drawing Laughter, P.O. Box 170, Fredericksburg, OH 44627 or email John at jlorson@alonovus.com.


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